"Party City"

 Well I guess first off I want to explain how very thankful I am that Party City partnered with the CF Foundaiton to raise funds and awareness for CF. I can't tell you enough how BIG and warm my heart got when I was there on Sunday picking out Carson's Birthday invitaions and my sister says and pointed, "Elicia... Elicia... look" and as I looked up and saw this..... 

 

I can truly say I had to take a second look, I had to really look at it to make sure what I was seeing was real because something like this is something I would see because I was at a CF function. So as I stood there staring at these sign's all around I then had to ask our checker how long they had been doing this? She said they had just got them in, and in that same BREATH she asked me "What is it?" Now yes at that point my heart did sink just a little, because I thought to myself.... What is it.... WHAT IS IT!!!! But then I had to realize that before my boys I had no idea what it was either, so I looked at her and gave her the low down. And after my little lesson I pointed to Carson (because he was with me picking out his invitations) and said you would never know that he has CF would you? and she just "No".

So we left and as I went to my car and told my sister good bye, I had to sit in my car for just a min or two to grasp what had just happened.... And I don't know why it hit me as hard as it did but it did... it truly did, and the whole way home I would wipe the occasional tear from my face because I just kept thinking I was somewhere that was showing awareness for CF and it wasn't a fundraiser, an auction, or even a walk, it was somewhere that anyone anywhere would be going on any given day of the week. This made me happy and sad all at the same time, happy because CF was getting the well needed awareness and sad because I had to explain what CF was "AGAIN"... but I guess I need to also be happy that I got to open someones eyes on what Cystic Fibrosis really is.

I know I leave quotes at the end of my posts and I guess this kinda is one sooooo here it is.

XOXO

“Our role as a sponsor goes hand-in-hand with the organization’s mission of ‘adding tomorrows every day,’ in which we want to give people with CF and their families the opportunity to celebrate all of life’s milestones and special moments,”
said Lisa Laube, President of Party City.

???????

Got to love it when there is so many things running through your mind that you can't even think of a "Title" for a blog post. Wow.... So today marks a month that Carson got his G-tube and still I am amazed how it has totally improved him. And here I thought he was doing good before,  he was running around and playing, he really didn't get the sniffles very often, and yes his eating was a challenge but I told myself that I could fix it or run myself into the ground trying to fix it. But now... WOW!!!! The one thing they didn't tell me was that getting this for him would crank his TERRIBLE twos up to over load. Geezzzz he is non stop and I guess the most gratifying thing about the whole thing is going to clinic and them telling me how proud they are of me for making this decision. Them saying they knew that it was a hard one but it was the right one and that it was paying off, because Carson is now above the 50 percentile for weight for length!!!! I knew he was gaining but with all the running around he was doing I didn't think that he would be above. So hearing them tell me that was so nice because for so long when I would leave clinic I always felt like they were disappointed that I wasn't doing what they were suggesting. Now... now I can give them crap that this G-tube has turned my sweet little boy into a little sh*t, hehe.

Ok so I shouldn't say that he is turning into a little poo because he still is my sweet little boy when he isn't running around or tormenting his lil brother. So all-in-all everyone one is doing good and the time I was spending on trying to get Carson to eat or find "Sammies" I now spend playing with my boys or getting after them for doing something that just 10min ago I told them not to do :) And it also gives me a chance to fight this disease in different ways like getting ready for this years Portland Firefighter Stairclimb "Climb for the Cure" I'm really excited because with some help from a very awesome friend and my Step Dad we are putting together a website for the climb. We have a Facebook page the climb but having a website I think will be very cool. So I will let ya know when it's out there so you can look for us and if you know any firefighters or are one yourself and your up for the challenge we would love to have you. I think I will call it a night for now and I hope everyone is doing good, loving life.and fighting the fight.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

A weight has been lifted

Well it has been just a little over a week since we have been home with Carson having the feeding tube. And let me tell you a BIG weight has been lifted from my shoulders with him having this tube. I no longer fight or struggle with him when he eats, if it's lunch time and he only takes two to three bites of his sammie I don't feel the need to beg, or trick him to eat anymore of it. It's simply "Ok you can get down" and then I can sit and eat lunch myself with Brandon and not have to worry about Carson because I know he will get what he needs at night. And in just a week Carson has put on almost a POUND!!!! and Brandon my little BIG boy has done the same in just over a month. This "Button" as we call it has done more then set my mind at easy or taken soooo much weight off my shoulders it has given me a chance to really enjoy my boys, and not saying that I didn't before but so many nights I would either sit up awake thinking about what I could try that maybe different to get Carson to eat or beat myself up over what I could have tried with him. It has also given me a chance to REALLY know how much Brandon LIKES to eat... Man can that boy put away the Mac n Cheese and it has made me realize how much my baby isn't a baby anymore :( He is talking so much and he is also on night three of being in a big boys bed. WOW.... how time fly's bye.... Ok I think this is going to be a short one tonight because all this thinking about how fast my babies are growing up is making me tear up and it's making it hard to type, so I will leave you with this.....

"Peacefulness is an inner sense of calm - it comes from becoming still - in
order to reflect and meditate on our inner wisdom and receive answers. A
peaceful heart is one that is free from worry and trouble. It's becoming quiet
so we can look at things quietly so we can more clearly understand them and
thus come up with creative solutions. It is learning to live in the present."