WOW!!! What a day

What a day.... I knew that today was going to be a hard, challenging, stressful and emotional day. And still at the end of the day I know, even though it was a hard one Travis and I made the right dissection for Carson getting the G-tube and all in all Carson is doing GREAT :) once we got his pain under control. And to be truthful I think I did ok with it all, I didn't know how I would do watching him get the meds to calm him down??? but I did good, I didn't know how I would do when we had to hand him over to the surgeons??? and there again I did fine. I did good while he was back there, I even did good when we got to go back and see him after he woke up. But then...... as we were back there seeing after he got out of surgery the nurse needed to check out the G-tube and 
BAM!!!! there it was. And this is where I lost it because seeing it made it real, seeing this thing that my baby did not have this morning when we brought him in, this thing that made CF just that more real to me. And yes I know that this is the best thing for him and he is going to do great with it and I also know that this is all new so it's going to be weird for a while but... Gosh dang it!!!!! I can't help but feel mad, and truly I really cant pin point why I feel this way I just do. 

And it could be that one my baby hurts and I can't take it away or it could be that I'm mad that this disease takes things away from people that have CF like breathing easy and eating. Stuff that people without CF don't have to think about on a day to day bases. But then again there are parents of Cfers that think about it ALL the time and CAN'T do anything about it other then care for their babies and spread the word about CF. So I guess if I had to sum it up I'm just MAD at CF, So now I think I will leave you with this.

LIFE

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mother Teresa